Areillia Luna Clay [Pending Changes]

[Areillia Clay]

Areillia Luna Clay

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14, Ravenclaw, 4th

Basics:

Full Name: Areillia Luna Clay
Nickname(s): Eillia or Luna
DoB: December 4th, 2008??
Sexuality: Straight

The Wizarding World:

Blood Status: muggle-born
Affiliated With: (Order, Death Eater, Neutral, or Undecided) Order
Wand: Areillia's wand is around 9in, made of the srtongest cherry wood that could be found. It contains a dragon heartstring.

Appearance:

Sentences, no bullets

Hair: Areillia's hair is bright red, looking almost like fire. In the summer sun it looks almost gold, shining beautifully. During the colder winter months it looks more brown, almost like the leaves that fell only a few months before.
Eyes: Her eyes are a beautiful blue-green-gray. When she's happy, they shine like the lake in summer, and when she's sad, they fade to the blue-gray of a stormy night sky.
Face: Areillia's face is always smiling, giving the impression of beautiful dimples, and a happy person. Her face is very rounded, and covered in freckles that seem to match her hair color.
Body, include weight and height: Areillia is around 5'7", tall for a fourteen year old girl. She is a little over 100 pounds, and has a very athletic build to her. Her skin is paled, hardly ever tanning, simply burning in the hot summer sun.
Face Claim: Amy Adams
Other: She has freckles covering her face, spread across her cheek bones and nose.

Personality:

Areillia is a very pleasant girl who adores school. She spends her days laughing with her friends at the meals, and studying after classes. She is polite to everyone, having grown up on the thought that you treat others how you want to be treated. She is also a caring person who helps others when they need it. During her free time, you can sometimes see her tudoring younger students.
Areillia is a smart girl who likes the majority of her teachers. She does her best in their classes, but they don't take up her whole life like some other Ravenclaws. She loves spending time in the Library, and often volunteers to help the Librarian organize the books. She is also seen in the courtyards, relaxing during the afternoon hours. She often reads her days away, but enjoys talking to others about any topic they want.

Likes:

-Reading
-Studying
-Chatting with her friends
-Talking to the teachers before and after class
-Spending days relaxing in the courtyards
-Tudoring younger classmates
-Answering questions correctly in class
-Making new friends
-Thinking up story ideas
-Finishing a short story after days of working on it

Dislikes:

-Most Slytherins
-Long holidays away from her friends and teachers
-When her parents are disapointed in her
-Walking alone in London streets
-When her story ideas don't work how she imagines they would
-People who make fun of her stories
-People who make fun of her tudoring
-Anyone who doubts her abilities in everything
-Books that are written badly
-Anyone who hurts her, her friends, her family, or her teachers

Family:

Areillia Clay, muggle-born witch, student at Hogwarts

Mother: Luna Heart Clay
Father: Mitchell Lee Clay
Siblings: Kathleen Margaret Clay (17)
Others (list): Alina Mara Rivera (14)-Areillia's best friend

History and Details: Areillia was born in the small town of Dover, Delaware, USA. A few years later, they chose to move to London, England, where Kathleen was born. Areillia lived there for the rest of her childhood, going to a small school. She lived in a small apartment with her family, and played with the other kids in her apartment building. She never left the building without another member of her family, as she had grown up frightened of the London streets.
When she was eight, her sister got a letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her parents were stunned, but figured their eldest daughter had some strange power by all the things that happened around her. Three years later, Areillia recieved an identical letter, and entered the school also. She was sorted into Ravenclaw, and soon lived up to the smarts Ravenclaws had. She started tudoring the first years the moment she entered her second year, and kept that up throughout her years at the school. Her sister is currently in her seventh year at Hogwarts, and will apply for a teaching job the next year.

Other:

Areillia hopes to publish a muggle short-story book, and writes during the late evening hours.

Role-playing Sample:

Areillia walked into the Great Hall, and headed over to her friends at the Ravenclaw table. She sat down beside her sister, and gave her a quick one armed hug. "My latest story is finally done, I can't wait to show it to you!" she exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement. Her face was glowing as she passed her notebook to her older sister, her true idol.

You:

Name: Ginny
Age: 15
How long have your been role-playing? six years

[Professor Selwyn]

As suspicious as I am of the middle name 'Luna', it's not that big of a bother in comparison to some other things. Hopefully this comes out as constructive criticism, and you won't think too badly of me.

I think, first off, you should go over your writing for spelling mistakes. Maybe pop the application into Microsoft Word for the spell check - e.g. 'strongest' (referring to the wand), 'tutoring'.

As much as I like the physical description of her, it is bordering Mary-Sue-like. Tone down a bit, such as with the 'beautiful' and the colour-changing eyes. In the description, another (rather large) worry is her height and weight. She is underweight - her BMI worries me. Unless, of course, that is going to be part of some subplot concerning her, but... Yeah, and 5'7" at the age of 14? ...Sorry, but....

---

For the Personality section, I really want a bit more...punch, yeah? It's very basic, what you have given us, and almost...two-dimensional? I don't know how to say this, but it's just lacking a little something. Feel free to go take a look at the completed applications of other characters! I know those two paragraphs are hard. Your words are also contradicting: often in the Library AND out in the courtyard; adoring school +studying, but it doesn't take up her whole life.

OH! and for the likes and dislikes, do you think you can explain a few in either the History or Personality section? Not too much, most of them makes sense, but say like, the Slytherins under 'Dislikes'. I understand that she is a muggleborn, but 'most' Slytherins would have gotten over quite a bit of the blood purity thing - it's 2022.

Need more info for the History section - why did they move, what happened in her childhood, what happened during her first 3 years at Hogwarts, her relationship with her sister, etc.

Finally, the roleplay sample. In nicer words (of Prospie) it was kind of underdeveloped. For some more detail....

Desmond: The rp sample had nothing. It had no substance, nothing to show what type of roleplayer she is.

...Pretty much.

[Jennie]

xD Oh Cyn, I trust you. Ginny, if you're still around, go ahead and make the changes Cyn suggested and we'll go over it again. If you don't resubmit your application in 2 weeks then I'll move it to the Abandoned Applications section.

[Hazel Rose]

Ummmm....Ginny mentioned that she doesn't intend to come back. She said something to the effect of Cyn being too...critical? of the app. The part that bugged her the most was the height thing because Ginny was, like, 5'6"-5'7" at 14...sooooo...yeah.

[Jennie]

Alright, thanks Arye. I'll move it to abandoned